If my deepest darkest despair could type. This is how I'd respond.
Posted by Charon on 07 July 2000 at 10:15:37:
In Reply to: What's New posted by Gremlin on 01 July 2000 at 11:35:09:
:
: Bet you never thought you'd hear from me again. Figure old Gremlin would
: have
: offed me by now.
Well, one can only hope.
Putting a hit out on someone usually does this sort of
: thing.
So, If I call out a hit, somone will babble incoherently? What a rip
But not against me.Not true, Anything said to you would be incoherent. See, as we've tried to tell you before, you're really stoopid.
I didn't survive Gremlin's first murder attempt
Well, thats grand news, but I think it might be time to tell you something. Your brain didnt survive elementary school. At least you caught up.
: in October to die at the hands of the military soldier and Canadian lackey's : Said I wanted revenge. No. I wanted them healed. But thanks for the idea. --Charon--
24.4.255.161 - proxy4-external.denver1.co.home.com}
: threats against my life. Nor their precious god's attempts threats either.
Hate to tell you this, but what I revere near as much as your "god" is killing you anyway. It's called life. Get used to it.
: No. His server remained down long enough for me to learn what it'll take to
: survive.
You finally found the tab on the spam can, and actually remembered enough Tom and Jerry cartoons to open the thing? Your mother would be proud. Or not.
Now, with it's being ready this June, well, to you wonderful idea
: of
: revenge, I will strike first. I tried to be reasonable. I asked for help.
You tried to be cool, and you asked (see, "begged") for mercy.
: I
: did everything I was supposed to,
Except leave us the hell alone.
even to offer the most amount of help
: possible. I tired to get them the mental help they needed.
I was admitted and released in the summer of 1993. Apparently I don't need help. You on the other hand, think you're an alien. I win.
They did this to
: a
: 15 year old boy before.
Yes, we're world renowned for getting rid of people we would rather not deal with. Now go away child, you're ruining the record.
Now they try it on me. Who's next? If I had my preferance, I'd rid the media of Regis Philbin. Is that a valid option?
Any kid or
: adult
: really. Seeing as how the Grempire, as they like to call it, is a cult
Actually, cult is federally defined as any group of people who meet on a monthly basis, and own more than three firearms. I've not seen Gremlin in three months. I don't own a gun, and I have no Idea who most of the rest of these people are, but hell, at least they make sense.
: that's
: against the idiots of the world. 96% of the populace fall into
: that,including
: you all. Hence my trying to help save their minds, or what's left of it.
Heres an idea, if it doesn't seem like anyone wants to be like you. Either go somewhere else, or start behaving like you have a brain
: However, no one would help me. You all just laughed at me and gave me the
: run
: around. So be it!
...so let him be dumb
: By your command.
Im thinking, flying leap?
I'm going to do to them what they plan to do to me this
: June. Now remember, you promised to ignore us.
I'm going to hunt them down like animals, and I'm going to destroy
: them. Mistake #1, before this, you were just an idiot. Now you've threatened me, and my friends.
That's right. Not kill them. Destroy them.
Now heres the funny part, We've replaced Bangers brain with "B" movie dialogue. Lets watch...
Killing is something you
: people believe in.
Depending on the situation, I suppose its an applicable solution to a few things.
Not me. I'm going to do the worst thing a human could
: possibly have to endure. You're going to Paris for a Jerry Lewis film festival?
Death will only end their agony, and silence their
: shame.
What shame? It's not like I make false claims to being an alien or anything.?
So instead, I'm simply going to break them. Banger, if this is your challenge for a phisical confrontation, state the time and place. If not, shut up allready. Thanks to comic book
: violence, I have learned never to kill. Bub Nobody gets off that easily, Not true, she was a tough one
least
: of
: all after threatening and stalking me. Not to mention, Gremlin's previously
: failed attempt on my life in October. Gremlin the false idol, shall be
: first
: (he actually considers himself a god, as is indeed worshipped). I already
: have two addresses on him: Gremlin CO Rainbow Ridge Publications, 1990 150th
: Avenue, Indianola, Iowa 50125 and Gremlin PO Box 440393 Aurora, Colorado
: 80044. Oh good, so you got somone to read the posts to you again?
He looks exactly like Jeff Goldblum. He's like 6'4, and very very
: skinny.
Well, sorta, but not. He actually looks more like This guy I met at a Perkins once.
He hangs out at restauants like Bills and Perkins,
Wait? You mean to tell me that was the real Gremlin? The Author? Really?
with his Sony
: laptop and digital camera, smoking away and belittling everyone who comes
: in.
Fair enough. If "everone" is limited to those kinds of people who cant shut the blasted hell up.
: He's in Denver, CO, now. See, I can easily find out about him, too.
Or not, I'm in Denver now, I'm sure he'd have mentioned being back in town.
I don't have any clue what Im talking about.
: need to ask "his" friends for help, like he did of mine. I also know one of
: his many weak points. His ego. Insert Id/SuperEgo gag here.
All I have to do is e-mail
: gremlin@gremlin.net and say I have a copy of his book, News Of The Stoopid
: (which does contain pie bomb building instructions, as he himself brags
: about
: all the time), He has no right to brag about those, I personally designed the anti personell Merangue mine, and the claymore with the creamy neuget centre. Bastard.
and I'm going to be in Denver on any given day. Where will
: you
: be so I can meet you and get an autograph.
I dont know about Grem, but I know where I'll be, find me. We'll have a party, I might even use your skin for streamers. Threat for threat weasel boy.
Once he tells me, I'm there.
: AND
: THAT FUCK IS TOAST!
The door is ajar...
Think of all the fun I can have with him. I can easily
: debobbitize him (You know, off with his head, down with the stalk), and then
: castrate him. Trust me, it's best he never has a begotten child.
You got me there, the thought is frightening. Two of the little wierdos? No, not just no, but hell no. I mean, what could possibly be done with a sequel?
Plus,
: it's
: only fair that I do. After all, he took away my most precious, and it was a
: birthday present no less.
Tolkien, how cute, who read "The Hobbit" to you?
Only fitting I do the eye for an eye, a tooth for
: a
: tooth, a nail for a nail, a most precious, for a most precious.
Bless us and splash us my precious... Slays king, ruins town. We get the bloody point.
So good-bye
Laters, now go find a nice happy little bus to hug. Preferably at high speed.
: Gremmy's most precious. And it was a birthday present, no less.
So you lost a ring then? What the hell are you on about?
Then,
: following in the eye for an eye bit, I'm going to do to him, what you humans
: did to me.
You've allready called us idiots, and we've disproved that theory. Now what exactly do you mean by "you humans"? Oh yeah, you're an alien, I keep forgetting. Call the boys at bethesda, we've got a live one... You cost me my right eye, so now he loses his.
Stop trying to be metaphorical, it doesnt work when you're stoopid.
Then there's
: plenty of body mass to slice and dice. Slashing is so much fun nowadays.
Heres another one, stop trying to pretend you're not afraid of sharp objects.
: Arms and legs to massacre and amputate. Backs and bones to break, necks to
: snap, paralysis to induce. And of course, home made lobotomies. Right
: through the left side, specifically, the speech center. You do know what
: happens to people who get brain damaged there, don't you?
Gremlin.net has a perfect example lurking on the message board. ]
All I'm saying
: is,
: big surprise.
Wheres the surprise? I was kinda hoping for a new car or something. Of course, this will happen to all the Gremlinites.
Not specific enough, can you please direct your threats somewhere more detailed? Or should I just have my official Gremlinite ID card renewed.
Just looking for an excuse to shatter your knees, nothing personal.
Even the
: few females in this cult. Yes, thanks to medical incompetence, I now know
: how
: to hurt women.
Convince them to go out with you?
Off with their breasts.
I'm not afraid of you, you're nothing but a pack of... Oh wait, my bad.
The emotional damage alone is the
: most fun, yes/no? Please click here to continue?
The interesting part is how two members were kids when
: they
: joined 2 years ago.
Not that interesting, minors end up on message boards all the time. As well as incompetent assheads, twits, and this geek who calls himself Utahraptor.
1 still is. He lives in Arizona, uses IP 63.14.195.5 -
: 1Cust5.tnt4.phoenix.az.da.uu.net UU.NET e-mail addy
: FordPrefect82@hotmail.com
Ohhhhhhh.... Cut/paste. He really did graduate a computer course.
: and his dad works for a high-tech audio design firm in boulder. This is who
: you allow to be corrupted, and will go down, as well.
Ummm, I refuse to even go near that one.
: Had you bothered to care about me, I'd have simply had Gremlin, Imp, Hunter,
: Host, and Swyndle, the main offenders, institutionalized, where they could
: get
: the help they so badly need, as stated before.
No you wouldn't, it's not within your rights to put us away. The courts, maybe, if we had even thought about half the things you're threatening.
But you decided my life was
: worth squat, not even.
Actually, I kinda decided your life was worth an absolute zero. Whatever this squat is, Im sure it can at least be put to some use.
You called it two guys going back and forth on a
: message board (the wave of cyber stalkings/crimes of the 21st centurey,
: BTW).
: Their minds can never be healed. No one wants them institutionalized for
: their/our safety. So if I can't help heal their minds like I want to, I'll
: do
: things your way, and damage their bodies just as badly as their minds are.
Does that mean you can fix my knee? The left one kinda bothers me sometimes, but if you want it as "damaged" or undamamged as the case may be, go for it.
: I
: must protect myself.
Dont be afraid, its only a hysteria induced hallucination.
It's do or die. They want me to die,
So what will you do?
now they'll spend
: a
: lifetime begging to die.
Too late, I've spent one begging for a chance to smack people. I can't really afford another lifetime.
However, I'm going to make sure medical science
: keeps
: them alive and in agony for a long time to come. A very long time indeed.
: For the promise of a little mercy, Gremlin will help me track down his
: followers. And you inspired me. Thanks > : )
Stolen iconemotes too? Will this plagerism never cease?
: You see, you really should have helped me out. Instead of ignoring me, you
: should have worked with me. For I'm the second. A mere child was first.
Just wait for the seventh son.
: You
: see, they go after kids AND adults. Which means more youths are in danger.
: And you're helping them. So I must stop them alone. You'll of course be
: thanking me, because Americans don't like child abusers.
We dont like people harrassing us either.
If you think I'm
: bluffing, remember, I was with them for 2 plus years before I learned they
: were dead serious and escaped their cult brainwashing.
You diddnt escape, we just lost your brain like a left sock...
You see the penalty
: for escaping.
Somone acts like a moron at us?
I even asked http://StopNetAbusers.org for help but they
: refused to even acknowledge my existence.
Thems what we calls "da luckey 1's"
Guess all you so called
: protectors
: are all talk, no action. To scared to venture past baby mild tiff chat
: rooms.
Who's Tiff? She sounds cute.
: The big boys play on Message Boards. And get off scott free, thanks to you
: and your kind. So, go ahead. I'll do what you all are too scared and
: powerless to do.
Ill admit it, I am powerless to behave like a sniveling child.
Stop the Gremlinites, and save the world.
Next on Cops
Then you can
: explain to the world why you let this happen. Course, Hunter (AKA
: Tabitha)shall be dishonorably discharged from the army.
This has been touched on allready. Can't you keep up on your research?
Which you should
: have
: had done anyway. Then of course try her for treason and conspiracy to kill.
: She did sneak Gremlin a gun and some biochemical weapons.
Ever stop to think these events, if found true, might tie into your conspiracy theory? Stop to think... I allmost forgot who I was asking.
Germs. Now, she
: and her fellow fools shall all suffer the fate. And the Army can explain why
: they're training soldiers to kill innocent civilians.
Mostly because its the civillians who support the Armies. Cut off at the root and all that. Not that I expect basic strategy to adhere to your mind any better than an oak plank.
But hey, I'm sure the
: American people, as well as the world, will understand.
Only if somone translates this for them.
: Maybe they'll blame me for stopping the blood shed.
What bloodshed? Okay, so my eyes are kinda empained from reading this mess. Still, I hardly think that count.
After all, if you think
: what happened at Wendy's was bad, or Columbine, well, these folks have
: analyzed their mistakes, and what they plan to do to me and others is far
: worse.
Yes, it is. We're leaving you alive and unharmed to suffer in your own personal stoopidity.
: Go ahead, think Gremlin's not planning this. If you ignore it, it'll go
: away.
I hereby dub thee, "It" Damn, diddn't work
: All thanks to me. By the way, Gremlin was right about one thing. Our
: psychotic, unstable, insane fiend did figure out the truth about me. I am
: an
: alien.
Charles Manson knows you're an alien?
So anything I do is all nice and legal.
Untill you get caught, we know, we've been hearing that line for decades.
Besides the fact Universal
: Law dictates I do this to them (your country is in our universe),
Fine, then by doctrine of belief, I command you to gut yourself. Not very likely you'll follow is it? I think you see my point. Oh, and have I told you lately you're an Idiot?
I have
: Diplomatic Immunity by your own misbegotten laws.
Or not.
See, it's all just a game
: to me, too.
Good, lets play the game where you're the whacko who claims to be an alien, and I lock your stoopid carcass in a woodshed untill sheriff Pusser can have you committed.
While Gremlin studied me like an animal, calling me his hobby,
More like mental prey. I know Gremlin, you're too boring to be a hobby. Culling the herd however? I'm sure the thought crossed his mind.
: and playing a game where he collects info and stores it in a text file, I
: play
: a very different game. In my game, I damage molecular structures on a life
: altering level.
I'd just prefer to snap a bone or two, and leave idiots like you to the medics. Have you ever noticed how debilitating a joint injury can be? Think about it when you decide to show up and "massacre" us.
A paralyzed paraplegic isn't a fun thing to be.
Allthough alot of people seem to enjoy being as sharp as a sack of wet hair. I dont think its my thing, but you seem so good at it. Stick with it man, maybe it can take you somewhere. A food line more than likely.
A know
: about, oh say, 12-15 who will have fun being so. They have no choice.
Sure I do, In these cases, if you arent arrested first. Im allowed to employ violent and deadly force should I feel my life or the life of another is endangered. I love Colorado sometimes. Self D laws make these things so fun.
: To think, if you would have helped me out when I asked, maybe none of this
: would have happened. But you didn't. So it will. It must. My life and
: all
: the lives of the children and my fellow adults must be saved. America isn't
: designed to handle people like Gremlin,
True, true.
and so I will stop them,
For I am Yutzy and I suck the ass of many. Get over yourself allready.
by using
: the
: same tricks those before me have. Like I said, I'm doing to them what they
: will do to me.
How could you possibly predict any of us would grossly misspell at you?
You thought Coloumbine and Wendy's was horrible?
Wendys? Thats some pretty decent food man. Now School lunches, thats another story.
Wait until
: I
: go all INS on their bodies.
Now you've threatened rape? You're not immgrating anything on my body.
Their internal organs shall be treated exactly
: as
: Eilan Gonzalous was.
At least I get to see my spleen on TV.
I do not want to do this. You are making me.
Yes, I hypnotised you with an HTML tag.
I must suck
: do
: this.
Do what? (See "Am I going to have to hit you again?")
To protect the world from devastation. To unite all peoples into one
: nation. To promote the beauty of truth and love. To extend my rules to the
: stars above.
I knew it, you're really a Geekemon. Feel the wrath of Smokemon! Camel, Wide attack now! Uhh.. sorry.
I will protect the human race from the Grempire, even if I
: must
: do it alone.
Being the only one who finds a threat in a perl script.
I hope you're happy and still laughing.
Hysterically, I assure you.
Nobody wanted to
: help
: me when I asked. Now there will be much suffering for your crimes against
: me
: and all peoples of this world. And when Gremlin posts my info, I'm also
: comming after you allas well.
Go ask Allas? What the hell was all that anyway?
See, Amercians don't liek Big Brother
Now that I think of it, I dont remember ever hearing of a case of anyone "lieking" anyone else.
putting
: their personal specks on the Net for the world to see. So, I'm gonna have
: so
: breaking fun with your bodies as well.
Sunday Sunday Sunday, its yutzies "Suck o' Rama. Dont miss the breaking fun!
Not that you can stop me. You're
: little tricks for teaching people how to stalk each toehr are quite useless
: off a chat room (baby land).
However, the first one of us you're unlucky enough to find, will most certianly stop you. Job done, idiot removed.
Heck, you couldn't even track down my personal
: info with just my credit card number. Here, try and find out lots about me:
: 5420969100031840.
Hey cool, now I can order a Rotosaw
I know that you can't Not even an experation date.
I can call for one, I've a few connections at the bank chain at which that card was issued. Not that it matters, it isn't your card.
: Why couldn't you have helped me when I asked for it?
You want the list Alphabetically?
Why did you try and
: doom
: me for.
I think you just answered that
Why? WHY!
A planet where apes evolved from this imbecil?