A Key For Decoding A Moron's Tirade (Plus! A Complete List Of Typos!)

Posted by Diablo Del Ocho [ - dialupH21.desm.uswest.net] on 28 November 2000 at 08.35.41

Mr. Pantsless neglected to capitalize the following:
9 A's, 7 B's, 1 C, 5 D's, 3 E's, 7 G's, 5 H's,
35 I's, 2 J's, 4 K's, 2 L's, 3 M's, 13 N's, 6 O's,
3 P's, 2 R's, 19 S's, 8 T's, 1 V, 10 W's and 27 Y's.
He also left out 85 periods(.), 22 question marks(?), 22 exclamation points(!), 4 quotation marks("),
85 apostrophes('), 2 colons(:), 1 semi-colon(;),
63 commas(,) and 2 hyphens(-).
63 words were grossly misspelled, and there were 46 heinous errors in sentence structure.
For those of you who could not understand some of the more archaic vernacular, I have consulted a recent copy of 'Webster's Dictionary for the Criminally Insane'. Here are some brief definitions of the following:
Awnry- boredom; moping
Stya- Russian nickname, usu. meaning 'cabbage vodka'
Reconize- Popular Usage in Marine Training, meaning 'to scout out an area'.
Knoeledge- Having theories on the Kennedy Assasination
Sexis- Little-known threat during WW2, finally surrendering in March 1986
Retart- to make something pucker again
Thta- Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh....
Adn- What the South does when they're not subtractin'
Yoyr- Swedish Peeping Tom
Traing- An S&M Piss Shop in downtown Hong Kong
Attetion- This is 'attention' misspelled
Piont- the vaginal area of a pious woman
Doent- How a man with no nose would say 'doughnut'
Mt Salary- the highest peak outside Ft. Knox
Arguging- the sound a baby makes when it's shitting its pants
IM LMAO- shorthand for 'I am El Mayo', the great Spanish explorer who discovered condiments in southern Florida in 1576
But the bastard who's wiping his ass with the English language doesn't stop there.
'see your missing the piont it doent matter what you say because you arent going to change my beliefs or values' is followed immediately by 'she died suckin my dick'.
This man should be chemically castrated and fed to gerbils.
Where's the salt peter...