Revenge of the UPS

So, yesterday I got all stupid. I wanted to know if I could expect the one package in my mother’s two-package-shipment the day it said it would be delivered instead of the day the other one [which was actually getting scanned and appeared to be going somewhere] was supposed to show up.

Dummy me, I actually emailed UPS and asked them….

There’s two packages being shipped, and they seem to be attached to eachother somehow in your system, so I’m only giving you the one tracking number in the form.

My question is: should I expect the one to show up on the 20th — today, even though it appears to have never left Illinois? Or did it just not get scanned, and is actually due on the 21st with the other.

I hope I can at least expect them before Christmas, because that’s kinda what they’re meant for.

Nice, clear question, right?

Thank you for your inquiry. Our Online Tracking System indicates this shipment was last scanned in transit on 12/16/05. It is scheduled for delivery on 12/20/05 by the end of the day.

Shipments that are shipped through UPS will receive a minimum of three scans, ORIGIN or LOCATION, OUT FOR DELIVERY, and DELIVERY. Scanning information indicates that your shipment has traveled through a particular location on its way to the final destination.

The shipment may also receive scans each time it arrives and is sorted through an intermediate location, indicating that it is currently on its way to the final delivery destination.

With the exception of the DELIVERY scan, each scan indicates that the shipment is in transit. The last scan on a shipment in transit is not necessarily an indication of its current location.

If your shipment has not received a scan for more than 24 hours, it is traveling to the next sorting point and will not be scanned again until it reaches that point.

For future reference, you may determine the scheduled delivery date by visiting WWW.UPS.COM and accessing Calculate Time and Cost. You may also refer to the following link:

http://wwwapps.ups.com/time?loc=en_US

Please note, Saturdays, Sundays, holidays and the day the shipment was shipped are not considered to be transit days. Scan information is uploaded daily and delivery information will be available within 90 minutes of delivery.

If your shipment is not received by the scheduled delivery date and has not received any scans within 24 hours, please contact your shipper and request that they issue a tracer on the shipment.

Please contact us if you need any additional assistance.

Norma Reigh
UPS Customer Service

…wrong.

Is the answer to my question anywhere in there? Anywhere at all? I can’t find it.

So, I got annoyed. And I replied.

Nothing like inattentive customer service to go along with bad service experience.

I’m talking about two packages, linked within the system apparently [as demonstrated to me by the big MULTIPLE PACKAGES thing], which is why I explained in my original email that I was only including the one tracking number.

STRANGELY ENOUGH, I didn’t receive the package, which was last scanned on the 16th, today — as I predicted, because I no longer trust the dates given to me by your system. When ‘three day shipping’ turns into a week because of holidays I’ve never heard of, I start to doubt the general ability of people to count to ‘one’. Given that, I find your overexplaning form letter more than a little insulting, much in the way that I find the postal service’s ‘it’s not a tracking system’ explanation of their tracking system insulting.

I ASKED in the INITIAL MESSAGE: if I should EXPECT THE PACKAGE ON THE 20th, or SINCE IT SEEMS TO BE PAIRED WITH THIS DELAYED PACKAGE, SHOULD I EXPECT IT ON THE 21st?

I guess it doesn’t matter now. I already have my answer, I just hope that the actual answer isn’t ‘it got lost, and my mother is out a lot of money.’

Don’t bother replying with your stupid scripts.

I hope Santa cures your corporate-wide ineptitude for Giftmas.

For the record — I don’t believe in Santa Claus.

Go on, say something....