This was waiting for me in the mailbox tonight —
PARENTING…It’s The Most Important Thing You’ll Do!
Whether your kids are stable and doing well or your family is being split apart at the seams by divorce, effective parenting is one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever have. Most of us feel unprepared for the role! At Meadowood Church and Christian School we understand the need for family ministry and effective training for today’s overstressed parents.
Pastor Harlan and Linda Humiston have raised six children of their own and have coached and counseled other parents for over 25 years. Join us beginning Easter Sunday, April 8, for a six week series on effective parenting skills. Don’t miss former Denver Bronco star Karl Mecklenburg on May 6.
What do the Broncos have to do with anything?
There’s also a schedule, or something.
“Parenting Isn’t For Cowards” Sermon Series
All Topics are presented Sunday Mornings at 9:00 & 10:30 AMApril 8 – Easter Sunday [period abuse] “God’s Power For Parents”
Meadowood Pre-School Children’s Choir PerformanceApril 15 [period abuse] “The Primary Relationship For Parents”
6:00 PM “Focus on the Family” Parenting Course BeginsApril 22 [more of the same] “The EQ Edge In Parenting”April 29 [….] “Navigating Adolescence With Grace”
Meadowood Christian School REgistration Deadline (Pre K – 8)May 6 [why?] “What Every Father Needs To Know To Help His Children Succeed”
Guest Speaker, Six Time Pro Bowl Champion Karl Mecklenburg[funny solid line here]
May 18-19 [….] Divorce Recovery Workshop
For those considering divorce or recently divorcedFor some reason, that last one was in a less bold font of a completely different colour.
Let’s just save some time here.
1. Use birth control.
2. If that fails, or if you wanted kids, remember — they’re your kids. God and the government are not going to raise them.
3. Ask your parents. They raised you.
3a.. If you’re not talking to your parents, figure out why. Don’t do that to your kids.
4. Teaching your children how to think is important.
4a. Teaching them how to think is different from teaching them what to think.
4b. Teaching them how to think includes teaching them how to disagree with you. This might sound like a bad idea, but it might actually lead to easier disagreements down the road, with much less screaming and door-slamming.
5. Winning the Pro Bowl — whether once or more — does not make someone any more qualified to speak on the subject of fathering. A man that does that is exactly as qualified as any other male that has good, motile sperm free of genetic defect and is capable of getting an erection.
6. Your children are people. They are, in fact, individuals. Their small size, and the fact that you changed their diapers, fed them, bathed them, and birthed them at some point do not actually change the fact that they are individuals. What I mean to say is, they’re not teeny little robots that you’ll always be able to control. Be okay with this.
6a. If you’re not okay with this, see 1.There. Parenting advice from me, mother of none. Unless you count a cat, and this one really nasty case of the flu I once passed on.
Hey, I’m a parent because I apparently didn’t have the balls to tell a couple of nitwits that I prefer my sausage well-wrapped. Oops.
But, in any case, I have absolutely no objections to that list, and a couple of things to add.
7. Babies do not break that easily, stop acting as if they are made of fine china.
7a. Protecting them from every single dirty surface on the face of the planet only makes for a weak immune system later in life. Stop it. Let them go get dirty.
7b. A skinned knee or a stuffy nose are no reason to bother the nice emergency room staff and certainly aren’t more important than the car accidents and gun wounds they routinely deal with. Buy some cold medicine and a first aid kit and leave the hospital for real emergencies.
8. Talking to children as if they were stupid only makes them think that you are stupid. If you want them to listen, speak as if you might actually know what it is you’re talking about.
9. All kids need to feel like they ‘got away with it.’ Whatever ‘it’ may be. Let them get away with it once in a while, or they’re just going to keep pushing that line until they get into real trouble. Like the kind that involves cops. Swiping your smokes or sneaking a beer is nothing compared to that.
10. Kids do not have early bedtimes because they need 12 hours of sleep. Look at how much energy they have. Seriously. They have early bedtimes because parents need to have time to themselves to be adults and retain (or rebuild) their sanity.
11. When all else fails “Because I said so” really is a good enough reason, and far better than “Do it or I’ll beat you.”