I sure as hell don’t. And neither, it seems, does UPS. Their tracking page and their insufferable phone-computer both think it’s ‘on its way to me’. The actual human I got says it was supposed to be delivered yesterday, and that it was also supposed to have been delivered earlier today. Or something.

She also said that the local UPS facility would be giving me a call to let me know about…somethingorother. Probably they won’t call, and they won’t show. Which means I get to call the shipper and have them initiate a trace.

And nothing will happen all at once, instantly, right then and there. Because I think that shit takes up to fourteen business days.

Of course, the UPS truck [which I could’ve sworn I saw much earlier today] is still ‘likely to show up’ until seven. Which means I get to sit here waiting for them to not call, and waiting for them to not show, and thinking about how much these little problems could be solved quite wonderfully with the liberal application of a few things found on this page.

Yeah. I’m just a little cranky.