Safeway was running a sale — 10 for $10. So I don’t feel as stupid as I should….

From the bottle:

the water with all the answers

is it just us or do clouds get a bad rap? while we admit they’re not as great to have around on a beach day, as say, the sun, clouds are unsung heroes because they contain nature’s purest source of water. meanwhile, spring water comes from the ground and contains random stuff and whatever else the animals that swim in it leave behind. that’s why we copied our white puffy friends by creating smartwater. it’s vapor distilled so it is in its purest original state. it’s a difference you can taste…unless, of course, you have no taste buds (then you’re on your own). but, we don’t stop there. we one-up the clouds by adding electrolytes just in case you do decide to hit the beach. unfortunately, we can’t fix the whole men in thongs thing.

ingredients: vapor distilled water + electrolytes (calcium chloride, magnesium chloride and potassium bicarbonate)

made for the center for responsible hydration (aka glaceau) whitestone, ny 11357

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 8fl oz (240mL)
Servings Per Container about 4

Amount Per Serving
Calories 0
Total Fat 0g
Sodium 0mg
Total Carbohydrates 0g
Protein 0g

enjoy the inside, recycle the outside

So I paid a dollar [two, actually, since I got two bottles] for 33.8 FL OZ of ‘smart’ water with a label that was typed by someone who couldn’t find the shift key while they weren’t fact checking….

The water we drink, bottled or tap, usually does not contain ‘whatever animals leave behind’. And clouds? Pure? What, were these people asleep during that Earth science class, or did they just disregard it in favour of marketing?

For those who don’t know, clouds are formed when the moisture in the air condenses around something called ‘condensation nuclei’. That’s dust in advertising-speak. Dust.

So, smart water is dust water. With those same random groundstuffs that might be in the regular water.

Smart water is not smart.

…but, at least I only paid a dollar for it. And now I’ve got this big bottle that I can refill. So yay.