Apparently, there’s a thing going on for the internet ‘in crowd’ — a group I’m very proudly not a part of. I do not want to know these people. Ever.
No. I’m not being a bitter outsider. I just really, seriously don’t want to have a faux e-friendship with anyone who pimps their baby to the fucking internet for cash donations, ads, and potential freebies from various companies.
And I really, really don’t want to be known by anyone who has the balls to complain that they were turned away from an evening, invite-only cocktail party for having a baby with them.
What sort of fucking idiot takes a baby to a cocktail party anyway?
And, yeah, this really happened. And people are really saying that Nikon — the people who sponsored this slightly-unaffiliated event — should be boycotted for having fucking rules about invites, attendance, and the proximity of babies to fucking alcohol and expensive camera equipment.
Did these people think that, maybe, just maybe, if you can’t leave the fucking maggot with someone else for a couple of hours, then you don’t fucking need to attend this event? No. Of course not. You’re obviously entitled to having it your way, because you’re not just a mommy, you’re a mommyblogger. You’re The Most Important Person In The World, Ever. You Invented The Internet and Cured Polio while breastfeeding. You’re the direct fucking descendant of Jesus. In fact, Jesus returned and had sex with his own father to create you. You’re that fucking awesome.
Thanks for giving me a new insult. I doubt that’ll go over well with the self-described ‘mommybloggers’ who were smart enough to think that maybe, just maybe, squalling shit-factories not named on the invitation might not be allowed in to this alcohol-serving event, but I don’t really give a fuck. Conventions of any sort will never be my scene, whether they be HolyShitFuckingAwesomeHorrorFestDesignedEspeciallyForHunter or BlogHer.
I gotta say, though, even though I don’t own a Nikon, I totally support them for this. And I’d totally go buy one right now, if I could. Because anyone who hates babies is fine by me. And, according to some bullshit twitter thing, Nikon hates babies. And I’m totally swayed by self-important baby pimps.
…just, not in the way that they and their PR contacts want me to be.
Apparently I need to check your blog a tad more often.
Okay, here’s the thing. I’m a mom. And I have a blog – several, actually. But one of the things you learn to give up with being a mom is that certain aspect of socializing that involves cocktail parties, really late nights out, and basically any situation that could easily be classified as ‘adult only.’ Taking your kid to something like that is selfish, rude, and just as bad as heading down to the bar, baby in tow. You also don’t take babies to movies – ANY movies – toddlers are no longer babies and family films are okay then. Get a babysitter, or stay home. Them’s the breaks. There are tons of website services now where you can get a babysitter who’s been all background checked and fingerprinted and certified 100% kosher. Get one of those. Can’t afford one? Then you can’t afford to go out, either.
And while I am a mom with a blog, I am not a ‘mommyblogger’ nor will I ever be one. I think my kids are fascinating, I’m supposed to, I’m the mommy. I don’t think everyone else in the world thinks they are nearly as interesting, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than a little bit creepy that people do basically pimp their kids out on the internet. In fact, I’d say it’s just plain wrong.