Ever since the Trainwrecks website went down, I’ve had to dig for my e-drama. It can be hard finding the good stuff, but, sometimes, it just falls right into your lap.

Like the ‘MckDrama’ currently going on right now. Which leads me directly to the title of this post. How to make money on the internet.

In any order, you get a blog, have a bunch of kids, and take pictures of them. It’s recommended that you claim all manner of opinions and positions — christian, submissive wife [call your husband Prince Charming], extended breastfeeding, babywearing, organic food eating, delayed or anti-vaxing, and so on.

Then, if you notice that you’re not getting as many hits as your fellow mommybloggers, have a sick kid. A very sick kid. If you can’t, fake it. Embellish. A lot. Post dramatic updates about the sick kid. The hits will come rolling in.

Also, you’ll get donations. You’ll get people to pay for your hotel rooms and massages at that hotel while your sick kid is in the hospital in a different town.

If you allow comments, moderate them heavily. Don’t allow questioning; only adoring comments. If anyone does question you, track them down and send them nasty emails.

And, if someone starts doubting you because the pictures you posted of your sick kid during a medical procedure show numbers on the medical equipment that don’t match what you’re saying [among other things], let your visitors post comments threatening bodily harm to those ‘evil’ people who dare doubt you.

It also helps to insert yourself into the media — especially if you can insert yourself into some other e-drama that exploded into the general public [like, say, a person who faked their own pregnancy, and gained a lot of attention online].

Yes. This is really all happening. Even more entertainingly, the ‘doubters’ I mentioned, those evil, evil thinking people who dare question what they’re seeing? Someone filed a police report on them. Which is slightly unwise, when all the threats are coming from the alleged threatened party….

I’m not entirely sure what prompted the police report, exactly. It could’ve been a number of things. The commenters at the ‘doubting’ blog dug up a lot of public information using nothing more than what ‘MckMama’ posted on her own blog. Public information like, say, her husband’s arrest record for domestic violence.

And, of course, people are outraged. Because they look up to MckMama, and these are all just dirty, dirty lies. Until she admits that they’re not. But they’re still bad people, so let’s threaten them! How dare they question!

How dare they think.

The internet is a Thought-Free Zone. So, go forth. Make money. And, if anyone dares think, let your loyal flock attack them. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a flock of Black Sheep, and they’ll take care of it for you instead of eating you alive.