Also: the government is very, very stupid and likes to waste money.

Seriously. A couple of weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail letting me know that I was about to get something in the mail. You probably know what I’m talking about, because you probably got the same damned letter. Apparently, I needed to be warned that the Census was sending me something.

Seriously? What the fuck was the point of that? Wasn’t the gigantic fucking ‘HELLO! THIS IS THE CENSUS! PLEASE DO NOT DISREGARD!’ notice on the actual Census mailing enough?

No. I guess not. Whatever. Because I was appropriately warned, I did not react to the Census the way any normal human would react to unexpected mail [hissing, screaming, shooting it with the nearest automatic weapon, setting it on fire, beating it with a stick, pasting it to a nuclear warhead and launching it into the sun…]. I…disregarded it for about a week.

Then I got another note from the Census, reminding me — which, really, is a much better waste of money than warning me. I don’t need to be warned; I need to be reminded.

Eventually, the card did remind me. Yesterday, in fact. So, I dug it out, opened it, and had a look at my first ever Census.

…and decided that it must be a joke. Because it kept reminding me that it needed to be done by [or on?] April 1st, 2010.

I filled it out, though. The combination of “It’s the law!” and “Postage Paid” convinced me. Mostly, it was the postage. Ever want me to fill something out and sent it back? Make sure the damned postage is paid.

I’m really disappointed, though. I was under the impression that these things asked about your religious affiliations, and…it didn’t. I was kinda hoping that I could be, y’know, counted. As an atheist.

No, instead, I had to repeatedly assure the form that I was not hispanic in any way. Also, that I was white, and not anything else.

It’s just not fair.

Overall, I’m disappointed. Did that question about religion ever really exist? Also: you’d better not be releasing my phone number in 72 years. If both I and my phone number exist [and are still related to eachother], I’ll be very annoyed.