Good news, surprisingly, brings anxiety that feels equal to bad news.

I should probably…explain, or something. And that might require a bit of pre-explaining.

A couple of days ago, I got a letter from the DAV — a service organisation that provides free representation for people filing claims with the VA. Because it’s really rather awful dealing with them on your own [which I did the first two times]. I think it might’ve been yesterday that I got the big envelope from the VA confirming the DAV letter. 100%, Permanent and Total. Proposed reduction set aside, previous reduction not proper.

This morning, I got the deposit in my bank account that really confirmed things. Sorta…back-pay for what they took away last year, since they found it to be in error.

Why am I not happy? I have no fucking clue.

I think it’s a little like surfacing after a dive. I think I need to come up slowly.