I have a lot of bad habits.

One of them, obviously, is not posting for an extended period of time. I can explain that: two migraine headaches in a row [one four days long, one still lingering], and a great deal of terror and lack of focus caused by a new medication.

Well, I’ve been on that for a few days, and I’ve actually been remembering to take it. My sleep has certainly improved, and the constant ‘gonna yarf’ feeling seems to be mostly gone, so it’s doing part of the job it’s supposed to.

That’s not what I want to post about, though. Or talk about. Or…y’know, I should probably work out what words I want to use before I start using words.

Anyway…what have I been doing? Well, obsessively playing Picross, and watching stuff.

I have this very weird habit of watching paranormal shows. If you’re talking about a haunting, or tracking down a haunting, I’ll probably watch your show. I probably won’t believe you, but I’ll watch you.

Yesterday, after burning through the last of A Haunting, My Ghost Story, and Dead Files [and taking a side trip into some show about killers where the guy hosting it talks to a profiler and his pet serial killer — ‘documentary’ type, not drama type], I ran out of stuff to watch. And that’s with Netflix, Amazon Prime free streaming, and 70% of ALL the Comcast.

I came to a rather terrible — dire, really — conclusion: I’d have to resort to YouTube.

Why dire? Well, my tower’s headphones turned up broken [only sound in one ear, very annoying]. I could watch YouTube on my Nexus, but then I wouldn’t be able to play Picross, and I REALLY wanted to play Picross. That left the BluRay player, where I watch all the other streaming stuff.

I hate searching YouTube on that, though. I hate searching Netflix on it, too. I’d much rather use my computer to search and — wait, maybe I could log in? And then watch things I’d saved or…whatever you do on YouTube.

So I did. It took three tries [the first two failed because I didn’t know about the new security measures], but no more obnoxious typing using my remote and the on-screen keypad-that-makes-no-sense.

YouTube, apart from being That Place Where Music Videos Now Live, is a glorious repository of utter insanity. Old Unsolved Mysteries knockoffs led me to a ‘documentary’ about a travelling haunting [it followed the woman who lived in the house and the investigators] in California [Unknown Entity or Ghost Attack or something]. Then, something about ‘living creatures in space captured on NASA broadcasts’.

Somewhere in there, there was a UFO documentary where someone said, ‘If you’re sceptical, then you haven’t read anything’…and then they went on to show ‘proof of UFOs’ that was more like ‘proof of what happens when you point your camera at the sun and take a picture’. Also, they talked about portals, and ‘proved’ where those portals were by dowsing with a pendulum.

Then, back to my more recent weirdness: The Satanic Panic. I found that thing Geraldo did. Uncovering Satan’s Underground, or Exposing Satan’s Underground. I honestly don’t care enough to check and see which one is correct right now.

Somehow, I ended up watching Enemies of Reason, then The God Delusion, some ‘it’s not UFOs or vortexes, you kooks’ thing about crop circles.

This triggered a vague flashback. Young me, in front of a CRT, and a show starting with that stupid, stupid crystal skull…and Arthur C. Clarke.

Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World.

Youtube had them. And I’m watching them now.

Gremlin went to bed two episodes ago, but, before that, he said, “So this show is what made you all sciencey?”

No. This show is what made me feel okay with being interested in insane things.

And I am. So very much. I used to feel a little weird about it — even after seeing this show, possibly because I forgot about this show. It’s a decent show. They showcase a few things on a theme, and, at the end, Clarke kinda…simply comments on them in a doubtful way.

These things interest me — crop circles, cryptids, ghosts, hell, conspiracy theories. I like to watch stuff about them, and read about them. I like to think of ways you could test these things, if they’re things that can be tested. I like to weigh the possibilities.

In some cases, I just like to see the utter insanity, and try to understand the mind behind it. I like to wonder about the psychology, and whether anyone’s dedicated much time to trying to learn more about how these people think, and why they think the way they do.

Maybe I can explain myself. It’s just a rather disjointed explanation, and it’d take quite a few more words. This just covers ‘unreliable’ and ‘weird’, and only a fraction of the weirdness.

And when I put it that way, I probably could’ve just said, “I’m unreliable. Also, weird.” on Facebook or Twitter, and not wasted so much of anyone’s time.