It’s not actually a problem, and I didn’t really make anything, but whatever.

The problem? I had to carry two cables in my bag, instead of one. Well, three, if you count earbuds. It was still one cable more than I wanted to carry around. Damn those iPods and their inability to use the same cable as everything else.

The solution?

Way more complicated than just carefully winding cables and hoping they don’t give in to their natural urge to become hopelessly tangled.

Step 1. Obtain retractable micro USB cable, because 98% of devices I currently own use micro USB for charging and data transfer from the PC.

Also obtain micro USB to Lightning adapter.

Step 2. Admit that you’re going to lose that micro USB to Lightning adapter. Think you’re clever because ‘what if I just keep it all attached? Problem solved!’

Step 3. Lose that fucker, like you knew you would.

Step 4. Dump backpack. Dump other backpack. Eventually find it in pocket of coat you forgot you were wearing that day you needed to use it.

Step 5. Wrap some leather cord around it all pretty-like, then ruin the effect with a huge, ugly knot. Tie it to the micro USB end, ruining the retracting ability.

Step 6. Lose that fucker again, somehow.

Step 7. After repeating a modified Step 4, decide to re-wrap it using some string, a lobster clasp, and crimp beads, because you have those.

Step 8. Ruin the pretty thread with a dab of superglue, because what the fuck what if it unwraps.

Step 9. Lose the entire fucking thing. Repeat Step 4.

Step 10. Toss a little O ring on the big USB end, so you can S-Biner that fucker onto the key clip in whatever bag you happen to be using.