Posted by Hunter on 25 January 2000 at 22:41:12:

In Reply to: Re: Bang Bang The Raptor? Boishanoi! posted by Swyndle on 25 January 2000 at 19:16:25:

Here's where I do something really dumb, and break the board....

The least I can do is fix up whatever went wrong with Swyndle's post, though, before I go about doing that (which took me all of maybe fifteen minutes... I guess I just work slow.)

So, this is where it becomes really long, annoying, and confusing...but some of Swyndle's stuff didn't show up in the previous post, so I really don't want to lose the full effect of that.....

: : Gremmy, I know your wooden head can't think logically, usefully, or even at all, but Bang Bang?

: Bang.

: You call that an insult?

: More of a sugestion, really.

Actually, I was out there when he came up with that one. He just though it was kinda funny..... We never really expected you to get it.

Which reminds me -- Gremlin, did you ever like, get anywhere with those things I watched you draw? Or did you forget about them.

: Can you please explain where the insult in Bang Bang, or even Yutz is? You seem to be missing the point of insults. You wanna actually hurt someone. Not give them a good laugh.

: I'm game for either actually.

: Wow, now we get to add flaming and insulting to your list of words you have no comprehension for. Did you at least have the decency that even a spork or gazeebo would have, and rig up at least 6 different, randomly rotated pathetic attempts at insulting?

: Brain hurting, sense dwindling...

: I mean, Bang Bang? That's pathetci, even for your usual low, pathetic attempts at degradation.

: Now with pathetci cable you can get the outdoors channel...

: I know you can't reply with anyhting intelligent, insightful, or erudite, but Bang Bang? Sheesh!

: Smoosh.

: Boy, is sexual frsutration really getting to you. You get women so excited theat they're about to sleep with Jeff Goldblum, and then disappoint them with that oversized Der Weinerschnitzl.

Actually, I would never sleep with Jeff Goldblum. I guess I'm just terribly picky....

And, um, disappoint? Who are you getting your information from, anyway? Certainly not me.

: He showed it to you to!?! Is there anyone here but me who doesn't care how big Grem's vault pole is?

Um, probably me...

: Poor sex for them. When they get upset, you actually have the nerve to call them crazy.

Oh, it wasn't that bad.... Then again, what do I know?

Hey, does that mean I'm not crazy...

: They're built that way, not his fault. Well, not always his fault, there was that one, where was she from?..

: Perhaps if you at least waited a few days before taking my girlless insults to throw back at me, you might have been believed. Course, it's nice to have "Mom's house" to take a girl to without having to sneak around.

: Be honest, you've never had a real girl in your room. No aunt Edith doesn't count, no matter how easy she is.

: Sorry you forgot to take into account the squeaky floorboards, but you never were swift in the cabessa? Nespa?

: Yo wasudnuka? Probly not.

: : Bang Bang?

: Bang Bang.

: : Since you are so sure I don't know what I'm talking about, ever, I'm sure you wouldn't mind explaining for me correctly what the Pleiadians are doing here?

: Metriculating.

: I tried, but alas, I know not what I talk about.

: He has seen the light! Can I get an amen.

: So, eternity's greatest genius, what's the real deal?

: $19.95

Plus state sales tax. Shipping and handling extra. Not valid in some states. Use of deadly force authorised. Please refer to the disclaimer for all other applicable rules and regulations.

: Why are they here?

: Whom?

: Why are they abducting people? Why are you so sure they actually spend their days anal probing people?

You remember it all quite fondly, don't you?

: They mentioned how much you enjoyed over beers.

: (Not that there's any evidence to support they did this on a daily basis.) And why'd they stop doing it?

: Because it smells in there.

And after trying it on themselves, they realised that it kinda hurt...

: Remember to be very descriptive in your answer, and none of that aliens don't exist bit.

: They exist, they just don't come round here. They did once, then they met man, and stopped doing that.

: Besides basing that theory on probability (Possibility is the biggie dumb dumb), and on Douglas Addams' matehmatical calculaiton of 0 lifeforms in the universe (you're a bit too obsessed with him. Even LK1 copied his style way too much), you must play devil's advocate and explain as if you were one of the infinite who believe in aliens, as you know everyhting, and I know nothing. And a genius can very easily do this.

: LK1 is nothing like Adams. Adams intentionally wrote those things.

Which brings us to this: How would you know, Utahraptor? Did you read LK1? I know I did. I was vaguely reminded of Adams, but not really.... Kinda. Ish. Certainly not copied.

: : Course, I'm still waiting for you to supply this proof of your super genius status. What with you not inventing anyhting, presenting any formulas, discovering or curing, and making the most rookiest mistakes in dealing with people online, it is seriously lakcing evidence.

: Actually, he does all that in the secret lair.

Actually, that's kinda boring. Cures and stuff...they suck. Me, I'm not nearly as smart as anyone on this board, but I'm working on a way to kill at least eighty percent of the population.....

: Case in point: You know that's it's impossible to have an IQ of negative infinity, yet you believe aomebas have brains, people can rent brains, and for some strange reason, unlike a negative infinity IQ, of which you claim no one can functon, having no brain activity is possible (you never did correct Doof on that one.)

: This portion of Yutzy's rant supplied on a previous board.

: Biasi and favortism does not exclude overwhelming stupidity. And you have a plethora of that.

: Many overwhelming stupidities?

I really don't think that's possible. Something would like, explode....

: I mean, really, aliens sending one of their own to Earth just to misspell at people here? Oi Vey.

: Kosher.

: And what's this of being a Net wide problem? You and the Moronakateers are the only ones with a problem. You claim I'm a problem at Jurassosaurs board, yet no complaints eminated from there.

: You wanna be our "Special friend" don't you?

Does this mean I get to hurt him....

: Ditto's Dan's board.

: He changed the name to Ditto?

Speaking of Dan's board.... You know, it's funny how Stoopid here hates me, but he can like, be all amiable towards me anywhere else...

: How can soemoen who claims to be so smart, actaully liken poor spelling to dislike? Then you create these moronic scenarios, like trying to describe me only to deny it, or assuming what channels I watch while litering (yeah, right), then actually act like it's real.

: I'd do something here, but I'm not convinced that sentence actually ended.

I'm not even sure what it means

: Man, what a moronic loser you are, Gremmy.

: I'd like to thank the Academy, mom, god and Elvis for this, it's not every yokle that wins a Gremmy.

: Can't you even keep sawdust up there?

: In Iowa? Yeah, I think it's the law.

: : Hopefully you'll continue with the little dorks and geeks, because as everybody but you knows, geeks and dorks are extra smart.

: And nutritiously fortified with eight essential vitamins and minerals.

: I can always use more ego inflating.

: I knew it! All hot air!

: Come on, flaming joke, follow Hoser's wishful thinking and destroy me. Utterly utterly destroy me.

: Step away from the cow...

Oh god, not the cow....

: Which really puts you down for saying I'm not smart. Make up your mind. Either I am or I ain't.

: Groping for 'am not'?

: : And where are your posts defending me as you claimed in Oct?

: My fault, I told the guys in PR they made him look bad.

That must've been last last October...when I was off at Basic....

: Was it when you loved my Hutch Busters idea? Or the Jahova Witnessess answer of "Don't call us, we'll call you?" Actually, all your posts prior to Sep did nothing but favor me, as well as afterwards to keep me here. If not for your flame loving "friends", the Grempire would still be such a happy place.

: I hate "Friends" that show sucks.

Since when was the Grempire a "happy place".... I wouldn't have stayed if it was anything like happy. That's just...ruin my reputation.

: But no, they love to rant and rave, and have thus turned this once wonderful and fun board into Rantapalooza, thanks to their successful take over of your very will and thoughts.

: Bend over,Smithers.

Excuse me; I just have to laugh here...

: And you didn't even see it coming.

: It was wearing a camoflaged condum?

: Much like Julius Ceaser. But don't worry, I'll help get you unjerked (though you don't seem to notice you are), and then everything will be fine.

: And taste like pudding.

Probably the cheap chocolate type that is oddly reminicent of aluminium....

: Until then, keep believing your parents lies of your mind numbingly high IQ (which was done in a desparate attempt to encourage you to do well in school.

: Yep, they were tired of him teaching the faculty at school.

That one never works. Which is why my parents keep asserting that I'm dumb....

: You know, that place with those bathrooms you smoked in for 7 or 8 years?) Never did understand your obsession with IQ's.

: Ull, that's wot tells ya wether'r'not a feller's watchacall smart.

: Intelligence can't be rated by anything standardize, and still you hark on it as the prove all method. Yet yours is so surprisingly low.

: What, still within three digits?

: What kind of super genius can't answer a simple questions, and instead flames because someone insists he's part of a mass literary conspieracy?

: Gremlin, you're forcing people to read!?! How could you!?!

: And you expect anyone to believe that after 9 books, you wrapped up every loose end.

: Just on the ropes.

: How? You're too stupid to keep track of that many loose ends.

: Bob from accounting has a loose end tracker.

Not anymore. I kinda broke it....

: And what's with that sudden curiosity about my IQ? Eveyrbody knows you'll claim that whatever answer I give is a lie. So, why bother? But if you really wanna know,a nd are going to actually accuse me of lying with absolutely, positively no proof, I might as well lie big, and obviously (so you'll miss it. No big whoop.) it's 3Billion and 3.

: apparently graded on a loop.

: Kinda makes calling mr a lair redundantly monotamous.

: Okay, who's this Mr. person? And why would we call him a lair?

Mr. has a lair? Is it for sale?

: And monotamously redudant. And what's with this sudden knowledge of every board/news group/mailing list/ guest book/chat room/etc that I grace with my presence?

: I admit it, I put a homing flea collar on you.

: How do you know how much eladership I exert?

: I'm not sure what eladership is, but I'll bet it's smelly.

: It's only here I'm not at the forefront of communciations.

Yeah. I'd believe that you're about to lead the idiots into battle, since you're probably going to take credit for my amazingly short military career here in a few months....

: Still working with blocks are you.

: And thta's because so many people are too stupid to know being wrong if even that), doesn't make them stupid. Course, most places don't have idjits following suit and trying to impress the lamewads by emelating them, like Swyndle and Mac do here.

: Hey! I have never ever been guilty of entertaining a lamewad. Though there was that Norwegian couple...

: Congratulations on properly spelling my moniker, did you hire a typist?

: Not that anyone is impressed by their copy cat capabilities.

: Or their tremendous... Vocabularies, yeah, that's the ticket.

: : BTW How does it feel to have ruined 2.5 boards?

: Good, not completely filling, but good.

: First you really blow it at Universal's Net Forum with Alan1, creating a major unstoppable monster. Then you nealry ruin Dan's when Alan1 shows up. And now, here at your own board, by letting your "friends" run rampant and out of control, while everyone else here begs and pleads for the insanity to stop.

: Friends don't let friends, run rampant... And who's plaeding?

: And I'm a Net Wide problem (Which nobody can undersatnd.)

: I am a repeat offender, I will repeat again...

: We'll add this description to the list of words you haven't mastered the meaning of yet. Tis ony fair.

: I got nothin'.

: Since you like me so mcuh, and can't ever bear to see me go. Look how upset people got this past summer? I couldn't show up everyday, and things fell apart.

: Yeah, we had intelligent discuusions, free sharing of ideas, point counterpoint sessions, not to mention I got to know Hunter better. Course, Grem's the one the got to sack with the wee lass. Drat.

So that's not much of a secret anymore....

: I left form boredom, and thigns go to hell in a handbasket.

: With a fruit pie.

: People post less and less, you concentrate on writing those books you can't even find all the typos in anymore, Boishanoi!

: Katmandu!

Zambia?

: And the world is going to eat me alive? You've been eaten and spit out.

: She bit it, and then she had the nerve to spit!?! Geezus.

We're not talking about me again, are we?

: All you do is hide in restraurants in the wee hours of the mourn, creating a smokescreen to hide from the stupids who only come out at that time, and rant about your miserable day.

: Yup, having a pretty good time knowing we aren't them, neeners.

: Well, at least I can be abrely qualified to do simple tasks.

: Is this the part where he says he's perty smart for an ork?

: Poor you. Not even fit to be a door mat.

: More of an exercise mat if I'm reading Hunter correctly.

Hey...

: Tsk Tsk Tsk. It actualyl too you thta ong to figure out how to stop answering what movie you were watching?
: : And your way too obsessed with science via the 5 sense. Besides living in a world where the 5 don't cover much, you forget it's based on human misunderstandings. Science can't be used to explain everyhting, because science is human understanding of thing based mostly on natural observation.

Funny, I...thought that was the point....

: But when science is proved wrong, it accepts it and moves on, it's a conglomeration of minds, intelligent mostly, throughout the ages, the experiences of millions weighed against, fact, fiction, theory, and so on. Input from every angle. Religion is a wholly one-sided affair.

: This alone proves God's existance. Too much is unexpalinable by science.

: Yet unexplained. You never know, god might be out there stuck in something that he needs us and science to get him out of. Wouldn't that change a few views.

: Science shows matter in the universe traveling past the speed of light, and measures some star ages to be older than the universe itself. You even believe Karma is nothing more than coincidence. Yet too much happens to be coincidence. In fact, it's too much of a coincidence to be coincidence. There's more to it than 5 senses of sceince.

: The human brain can't handle any more than five right now, we'll be along shortly.

: You can't even figure this one out, and we're supposed to believe your the smartest one ever.

: He never said he was the smartest ever.

: How? You have done nothing for us, cured nobody.

: That's not his bag. Einstein never cured shit and he's supposed to have been pretty bright.

Curing is easy, anyway. Any idiot with enough money and a big enough laboratory staff can do it...

: All you do is hide from the world, crying about how the mean old world was too hard for you to beat.

: Please don't annoy the Gremlin, I just got a new house and I'd rather you not provoke him into proving this stuff.

: : Might as well save you hopes of people ever coming to this board once your books get released. Poeple don't like to post in places where they'll get flamed for holding a different opinion.

: Actually, differing views are welcomed here as I know. It's outright idiocy that's not tolerable.

: Hence all the lurkers here.

: The goof is out there.

: You helped make them too scared to post here.

: You found him out, he's the boogeyman.

I knew it. I knew there was a reason why I liked him...

: You claim to like different views, yet hate mine.

: Well, they're dumb.

And you have this terribly nasty habit of like, taking old insults and recycling them as your own. If my life didn't have a point, I could go grab specific examples....

: You claim to hate yes men, but hate me, whom you already admitted to not being one. Are you that stupid? Or are you that big of a liar?

: Who wants to be a millionaire?

: You can't ever expect to be taken seriously if you can't even br consistant. Heck, yuo say nobody ever takes me seriously, yet you and the Moronakateers do. Well, by your standards, I've already fooled you once.

: Gasp!

: Though that's deabtable, I did fool you a second time, in Oct.

: I'm still not all that clear on what exactly a deabtable is. I supose I should figure out what a deab is.

That might fall into the 'small woodland creature' category. I'm not sure.....

: So defintiely once, if not twice by your moronic counting. And we're all to believe your the universe's greatest genius throughout eternity?

: He's just the messenger...

: How? Man, what a moronic loser you are. You don't even know which hand a duck, a pig, and a rabbit ate their soup with.

: They're feeding these things soup now!?!

: You're too busy pondering the anthropomorphizing of them. Some super genius you turned out to be.

: YEAH!

Actually, by saying that, he was giving you the fucking answer, you twit.... This could be example number one.....

: Can't even buy that animals can eat soup. And you wonder why the world is so stupid.

: I've got a hunch.

Animals don't eat soup so much as mostly drink it..... besides, there's something about not feeding them 'peoplefood', or something. Or was that not feeding them people as food. I don't remember.

: Because if being smart means being likw you, doing what you do, thinking (and I use that term as losely and ficticously as possible) like you, then of course no one wants to be smart. It's better for eveyrbody that way.

: Keep the dream alive, man.

: : Bang Bang The Raptor? Man, do you have no life what so ever. Can't even think of a good NOTS title without someone else's help.

: Um, howabout, nah, too user friendly...

: Someone more stupid than you, by your whacked out belief system. Anoher reason noone really posts here (and then only rants at that).

: I don't only rant at that, I also rant at this and the other thing...

: Nobody but you wnats to go someplace where an insane idiot will vehemently insist that they're stupid.

: Ah, in a perfect world...

A perfect world would involve an assault rifle as well, actually.

: : And one possible conspieracy theory does not make em oen to post them here. Believing Dave Thomas is stealing your paycheck is suffering from consperiacy theory.

: Dave Thomas is stealing your paycheque?

Liar. You can't fool me. You don't get a paycheque...

: Believeing in purposely misusing words and writing loose ends is a conspiracy post. Those are people too obsessed with conspiracies.

: Conspiracy, for men, from Calvin and Hobbes...

: : Maybe if you spent more time learning your scientia, and less time memorizing big words, yet not their meanings, or even the meanings of simple words like flame, well, that is your problem. Quit trying to make us all suffer for it.

: To the pits with them!

: : Why don't you just solve all your problems once and for all by putting on your precious black trenchcoat, driving with your Colorado plated car to the nearest police station, and run isnide brandishing your gun, screaming, die idiots die.

: tried that, nobody noticed.

Actually, I was there that night. That's not quite how it went.... THere weren't any trenchcoats, and he didn't have Colorado numberplates anymore.

: And that's not German for The Idiots, The. You're patehtic. You gripe about stuff with no proof, get mad when I supply your proof for you, can't even read the parts spelled right, and are jsut a compete and utter moronic loser, convinced the world owes you everything, and your height somehow makes you immune from smaller people's attacks.

: How's the weather up there? PTOOEY! It's raining.

: Way to think, Goliath.

: Okay, Davey.

: You're even too afraid to show your face Netside, or write a book with your own name on it.

: Gremlin is his real name.

: All you do is take other's ideas (Grempire from Star Wars: Shadows Of The Empire, my insults, etc), and Doof says I'm not original (And reads everything I write anyway.)

: Grempire was actually a submission from someone else who had taken a few minutes to make the logo, so, why not?

He would know that. He posted those "Blast from the past" things....he's saved every board since it's creation, I think.....

: You have to make me look like an idiot, twist my words around, take things out of context, add stuff to them, use the worst posisble examples to prove your point, and call me names just to make someone else believe I'm actually stupid.

: Yor words a pretty twisted to begin with. And, aren't you?

Actually, that's your job.... You're the one who takes our words from a few months ago, or a few posts ago, whichever, and twists them around to try to make them your own. That's been pointed out a few times, i think.....

: This whole board, and your NOTS are nothing more than testaments to your fondness of me, and how highly intelligent you think I am.

: Not to be taken orally...

Nothing like a good Delusion of Grandeur to start off your day....

: You take me too seriously, don't know a joke when you read one (and trust me, you have lost here for a lawyer, representing Seinfeld or anyone to get the death penalty) and insist everybody agrees with you while endlessly having to show them why you're right.

: It helps to remind people. They forget things. The alphabet, sentence structure, grammar, et cetera.

: All the while endleslsy calling me names to show how smart you think I am, and how much you admire me. Go ahead, call me idiot, dummy, dork, geek. I can use the ego boost.

: How to tell if you realy are a schmuk.

: You complain about me replying line by line, and do the same, twisting things around, and saying the same thing over and over again. I'm an idiot.

: That's good, you've got the idea, go with that.

: And look what it got you. I'm still here, not changing my ways, no one but your soc alled friends and their suck ups believe you, you're being controlled by your "friends" and your ruining your own safe haven.

: But you do give us a good laugh and the continual assurance that things could be worse, we could've been you.

: : What a pethetic, moronic little fuck you are, dung boy.

: Ow, that's gonna leave a mark. You kiss your love doll with that mouth?

: Don't even know an insult when you're called one, or how to insult someone at all. You live in a fantasy world, hiding form the harsh reality that kicked your butt. You wnat sex?

: Choose your words carefully, prostitution is illegal, Yutzy.

KILL!

: Quit putting down women.

: They get kinda heavy after awhile though.

And I really hate being carried... Oh wait, I'm not a woman, nevermind...

: Even if someone could ebat you up with mere useless words, the fact that a girl did means nothing. As equals to guys, it's to be expected. Until you lose shame voer this, crazy chicks are all you'll ever get.

: Law of averages?

Wait..I'm lost here. I thought it was Yutzy who got beat up, verbally, by a chick...

: : You're a waste of everything, empty skull and all. You have all the reasoning powers of a gronion.

: And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone.

You realise you're going to hear from the Society Against the Degredation of Bluberry Scones about this, right?

: You find everything you don't understand menaingless. You let a guy misspelling quotes from ficition get to you big time. Pathrtic. You're completely and utterly useless. You don't even exist.

: He might have a point there, you might not exist.

: You're nothing more than a bunch of text and incomplete CGI pics. all you do is cry about the unfair hand in life you feel you've been dealt, bother innocent "Jesus Crispies" at their chat room, simply by daring to say, "Oh no Gremmy. You're wrong. God does exist."

: He lives in Ankeny actually.

: Man, what a pathetic, moronic loser you are.

: Is there an echo in here?

Yeah. See it. Blue Toyota Echo. Right over there....

: For a nonexistaing entity. I guess you wouldd escribe yourself as a small nocturnal creature sent to Earth to destroy happy Net places.

: Actually, you're not far off, the direct quote would be, " A small woodland creature who's diet consists of quagga an free range meat products..."

: And that can only happen if we choose to acknowledge your existence. And I for one, chose not to. Erego, you don't exist. Your inevitable reply of nothing more than You're an idiot does not exist?

: Somebody book this guy into Bethesda, he's impaired. And get him some quantum physics material!

: You're questioning of why I reply with trogolodite responses to thsoe I get does not exist, your NOTS where you claim to post my final thought of the board which naturally is no longer being applied to reality is gone, and most importnatly, you do not exist, because I no longer chose to acknowledge your existance.

: So, then, you'll leave?

Or at least shut up, if not kindly fuck off......

: : Bang Bang The Raptor. Ha! Troz!

: ~Swyndle the Swyndle

~Hunter, the Official -- ah, nevermind....

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