Posted by MstressKat on 03 November 1998 at 10:22:03:

In Reply to: What's New posted by Gremlin on 21 October 1998 at 09:56:51:

: The board crashed.

: The best part of it: I'd just written a nice, long What's New, submitted it, and
klunk. So now I get to start over.

Well that serves you right for having such a nice attitude about other people

: Ah the hell with it. Here's the important stuff...

: I got twelve hours of sleep yesterday, woke up ,wrote a What's New that doesn't exist
anymore and which detailed all this stuff from yesterday...damn. I hate it when this
happens.

: Anyway, I went in to Perkins tonight and sat down. I was kinda hoping to work on
Scorpions a bit, but that didn't quite work out. I wound up talking to Nathan all
night about various stuff. And Hutch was there. The Wampa had met him the night
before, and they'd gone off together [ICK!] so he made a huge deal about how little had
happened when they left. In other words, something yucky happened with this creature,
and he's not going to admit it because he understands just how yucky she is. She is a
yuckymonster.

Who gave you the right to judge others? If I remember correctly...someone once said "Yet only the one without sin cast
cast the first stone..." And I doubt that you are sinless Mr. Gremlin

: I have this mental image [call my psychiatrist] of this damned wampa chasing Hutch
about, arms outstreched gropingly, shouting wookiewookiewookie...

: Okay, so I'm weird. You'd have to see her to understand. She is a wampa, just like
the yeti in The Empire Strikes Back. During evolution, her parents were
part of the control group. Have we reasonably determined just how icky this creature is.

Why should you be allowed to crtique all the females in the nothern part of Denver?

: Anyway, Hutch and the wampa left to go officially not do anything, leaving the rest of
us behind to mingle. Then, the waitress got off and I fugured out how to make he go
squeek loudly enough and high enough in pitch that glass is in danger.
And no, I'm not going to tell you how to make her squeek; some things are better left
unknown.

: Then there's tonight.

: I wound up talking to Nathan for a few hours. Hutch was there, but he mostly left us
alone. Well, except to mention how nothing had happened with the wampa, which I still
don't believe, and to tell us that he can convince people that he's mean and get
crazychicks like the rest of us because he can convince anyone of anything because
he's an actor. So I let him know that we're not all convinced, which he seemed to
almost understand. Except then the manager yelled at him for tablehopping and he
went away. First, of course, he told her it was okay because it was him, but that only
upset her more. The manager truly hates Hutch. She wants us to set him on fire, I
think.

How can you know what others think? And furthermore...Hutch does HAVE a first name.

: Then he came back and interrupted us again to tell us that he's just
signed up with AOL [what are the odds] and, once he's back from his trip to Utah to play
Vampyre: the Waste of Time [what are the odds] he'll be in here to meet everyone and
convince them of things because he's an actor and all. So that should be a whole
bunch of fun. Joy.

Vampire is not considered a waste of time for those who enjoy it Mr. Gremlin...there are people
that like things that YOU do not!

: So, since the board is gone now anyway, let's take this from the top...

:

• Who's Hutch?

: Hutch is this guy who asked what I was reading one night at Perkins at the end of
August.

He happens to be a close personal friend of mine

:

• Are Gremlin and Hutch best friends?

: No. Gremlin and Grinch are best friends. No one has any idea who Hutch's best
friend is. Some idiot has been spreading this rumour than Gremlin and Hutch are best
friends, but whoever that is must be a pathological liar.

Obviously you don't spend time with your best friend...also...why don't you have a "real"
name...like the one that your mother gave you?...unless you enjoy calling yourself after a
mytholigical beastie that changes after midnite because you fed it too much

:

• Are Nathan and Hutch best friends?

: Not according to Nathan. And he'd know.

:

• Did Andrea and Hutch sleep together?

: Not according to Andrea. And she'd know.

So Mr. Gremlin, do you spend all your free time wasting away in a Perkins all nite long,
surronded by the dredges of humanity and attempting to write the perfect screenplay...for
which yours truely knows is NEVER going to happen

:

• Did the wampa and Hutch sleep together?

: Not according to Hutch. Most of us think she probably did though. Ick.

Why do you spend time worry about what others think? ...and why do you waste your
time talking about Hutch if you do not like him? Grow up

:

• Are Gremlin and Hutch making Lurkers?

: Not anymore. Gremlin wrote the script, and Hutch was supposed to get the funding
together by 'pulling a few strings'. When that didn't happen, things changed a bit.

I seriously doubt that "Lurkers" would have made it past the cutting room floor...it wasn't
the most brilliant of ideas anyways

:

• What's the deal with Lurkers?

: The script has been revised down to an acceptable length and is basically ready to
shoot once we get a few roles filled and five million bucks.

:

• Does the waitress like it when Hutch gives her a hard
  time?

: According to Hutch, yes. According to the waitress, we should set Hutch on fire. And
she'd know.

:

• Is it true that Hutch has acted onstage at Carnegie Hall?

: According to Carnegie, no. And they'd know.

One : I doubt that Mr. Gremlin called Carnegie anyways...and whether Hutch is fabricating
a story or not...it's not for anyone to judge...Two: I have seen Hutch act and he is a
exceptional actor
:

• Is it true that Hutch was a major drug dealer back in high
  school?

: According to the NSA, no. And they'd know. And that's a warning: these people know
everything. Believe me.

Why should we believe you? And Yes Hutch was a drug dealer when he was in highschool...I
have met former clients of his

:

• Is it true that Hutch is a heralded website designer, fluent in all
  manner of 'net-based languages?

: Not according to his website's sourcecode, which blames FontPage for its creation;
and it would know.

:

• What the hell is this guy's problem?

: Best guess: he's an extremely extroverted codependant pathological liar who will talk
to/sleep with anyone who will let him and then complain about them once they're gone.
He's a dichotomous geek who loves to talk about himself and all the things he does
when he's not wasting his time talking to you, but never seems to have time to do all
those things between eight hours of telemarketing, eight hours of sleep, and eight hours
of sitting there telling you all about the things he's doing when he's not sitting there
talking to you. He complains endlessly about girls asking him out and then standing
him up, though no one's ever heard of a girl asking him out except maybe for the
wampa who is a yuckymonster and, in fact, what people have witnessed is Hutch asking
what a girl is doing on her night off, getting told that they're not busy, and mentioning
that they should go meet up at Perkins sometime like then; still, the only thing that's
ever shown up to meet him was the wampa, though he claims that he never suspected
that she'd be there or he wouldn't have come in that night. Also, he really seems to
hate people who play Vampire: the Waste of Time, but then runs off to Utah to play the
game of the century for the next few days. And worse, he can't always remember
exactly what he's already told you or what you've told him; and that's bad because he
either tells you approximately the same story as before but with different dates and
names, or he tells you what you've told him as if he's just thought of it and he's smarter
than you or something. He said his IQ was 187, then it was 192, then it was something
over two hundred, then it was 178; but he doesn't know anything anymore because he
had a heart attack, which later became a stroke. This is a guy who has come up with
more fiction that Iassic Azimov. I mean, I don't wanna go off on a rant here, but if you
put this guy in a room with Cliff from Cheers and that guy from the
Isuzu commercials he'd be the last one standing. This twit is out there telling people he
wrote not only the script for Lurkers but was a major influence in the
creation of Scorpions as well. That is, he'll tell everyone that but me.
He'll also tell everyone but me how close he and I are, how much time he's spent at my
place with my alligators [though he doesn't even know where I live], and what a good
idea it would be to sign on under him in his MLM. Actually, he used to tell me about that
last bit, until I made it pretty clear that I was going to hurt him if he didn't stop trying to
hire me. And We the Lurkers have tried everything we can think of, short of comeing
out and telling him to, to get him to go away and leave us alone. We've tried leaving
when he shows up. We;ve tried telling him how annoying he is. We've tried insulting
everything he thinks is an asset, like wampas and RPGs. We've tried telling him that
he's a dead ringer for Del Griffith in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
And the disturbing thing is, he's a dead ringer for Del Griffith in Planes,, Trains,
and Automobiles. And I'd know: it's one of my favourite films. We've
strategically set it up so he can't possibly sit anywhere near us, and he's stood at the
edge of the table and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked for hours and
hours and hours and hours and hours and this guy may be the stoopidest bastard in all
of Denver. And I'd know: I've met all the others on Interstate Twenty-five. This guy is
annoying and pathological. People have quit smoking so they don't have to stand with
him in the smokeshack at his office. People have quit their jobs so they don't have to sit
near him in the pod. People have walked out of Perkins because this parasitical stalker
wouldn't stop talking and talking and talking. And he's going to AOL his way in here,
and he's going to read this, and I'm going to hear all about it that night at Perkins and
he's going to tell me how funny my News of the Stoopids all are and
he's never going to go the hell away until we've set him on fire.

Well Mr. Gremlin, it certainly sounds like you have a lot to say about a certain friend of
mine who you have so "lovingly" nicknamed Hutch...my opinion here is that you need to grow up
and get a life that doesn't consist of hanging out all nite long at a Perkins, smoking cigarettes
and drinking bad coffee. If you're so smart and so rich and so wonderful, why don't you do something
worthwhile with your time and money, instead of wasting it. You even said it yourself, you hate your
life. So quit bitching and moaning and change it. Personally I think that you sound like your way
too into yourself, your ego and you "oh-so-wonderful" personality. Get over yourself. You're not
as wonderful as you think. You're human, and you make mistakes just like the rest of us human beings.
And besides that, there's an old saying that seems to ring true here "To each their own". So why
don't you take a wise man's advice Mr. Gremlin...it would save a lot of net space and hot air.

: I hate my life.

: That's just my opinion; and I'd know.

: More later...

: --Gremlin

Follow Ups:

• Answers Gremlin 03 November 1998 at 13:55:00 (1)
  • Re: Answers Cigol 03 November 1998 at 21:52:16 (0)