Utahraptor: Humanity's most compelling argument for birth control; a veritable intellectual punching bag

Posted by The Host on 25 January 2000 at 23:05:19:

In Reply to: Bang Bang The Raptor? Boishanoi! posted by Utahrapto on 25 January 2000 at 09:06:30:

Oi. Where to begin? At the beginning, I suppose, or close to it. . .

Gremmy, I know your wooden head can't think logically, usefully, or even at all, but Bang Bang? You call that an insult?

BangBang, I know you have the intellectual depth of mayonaise, but wooden head? You call that an insult?

Wow, now we get to add flaming and insulting to your list of words you have no comprehension for.

That makes the list of words he doesn't know twice as long as the list of words you do know.

Did you at least have the decency that even a spork or gazeebo would have. . .

I don't actually have any comments to make on this one. I just find it strangely funny. I think I'll frame that.

That's pathetci. . .

Is that Latin?

I know you can't reply with anyhting intelligent, insightful, or erudite. . .

Hello, teapot. I'm kettle. You're black.


Boy, is sexual frsutration really getting to you.

I assume you speak about yourself in the second-person. I mean, come on, who's the supposed college grad that lives at home and spends all of his time going from message board to message board on a quest to reveal the misspelled truth about the existance of aliens who hover over Las Vegas in giant hubcaps?

You get women so excited. . .

More than one could say for yourself.

Course, it's nice to have "Mom's house" to take a girl to without having to sneak around. Sorry you forgot to take into account the squeaky floorboards, but you never were swift in the cabessa?

Read this and more in The Unauthorized Autobiography of BangBang the Raptor.

Nespa?

It's n'est pas, dumbass.

Since you are so sure I don't know what I'm talking about, ever. . .

It's called a 'weak assumption.' Basically, something so hideously obvious that it is commonly accepted and undisputed by all. Like the theory that if you let go of a book near the surface of the earth, it will fall, and the assumption that if you give an idiot a chance to speak, he will make an ass of himself.

I'm sure you wouldn't mind explaining for me correctly what the Pleiadians are doing here?

Probably looking for you. Ever see E.T?

I tried, but alas, I know not what I talk about.

See, Gremlin, he's starting to understand.

Why are they abducting people?

[Refer to above.]

Why are you so sure they actually spend their days anal probing people?

How many times have they probed you? And how much did you enjoy it?

(Not that there's any evidence to support they did this on a daily basis.)

Not that there's any evidence that they exist in their giant hovering hubcaps and call themselves 'Pledians.'

And why'd they stop doing it?

Maybe they found you.

Besides basing that theory on probability (Possibility is the biggie dumb dumb). . .

Somebody call Okham: the whole razor thing was wrong.

There is the possibility that you are an idiot. Oh, wait, no, that's a probability. Oh, wait, no, that's a weak assumption.

[Refer to above.]


. . .as you know everyhting, and I know nothing.

What'd I tell you? He's catching on.

Course, I'm still waiting for you to supply this proof of your super genius status.

Course, I'm still waiting for you to supply this proof of you homo sapien sapien status.

Case in point: You know that's it's impossible to have an IQ of negative infinity, yet you believe aomebas have brains, people can rent brains, and for some strange reason, unlike a negative infinity IQ, of which you claim no one can functon, having no brain activity is possible (you never did correct Doof on that one.)

Now, I can't speak for Gremlin, but upon reading this post, I've begun to seriously reconsider the whole 'can't have negative infinity IQ' thing.

I mean, really, aliens sending one of their own to Earth just to misspell at people here?

Maybe they just wanted to get rid of you.

And what's this of being a Net wide problem?

Okay, perhaps you haven't disrupted every message board and newsgroup in existance (yet), but, then again, the bubonic plague killed only about a quarter of Europe, yet it was considered a threat to the entire continent and all of its inhabitants.

You and the Moronakateers. . .

WHen the most witty thing you've said in your entire life is the word 'moronakateers,' you truly don't deserve to live.

. . .because as everybody but you knows, geeks and dorks are extra smart.

That's what Yutz yelled yesterday when the bullies tried to steal his lunch money. (For the record, he couldn't truthfully say, 'My mommy thinks I'm cool.')

Utterly utterly destroy me.

Oh, but if we did that, who would we laugh at? Who would be our village idiot? I, for one, would rather keep you around. It's fun, watching you try to sound smart.

Which really puts you down for saying I'm not smart. Make up your mind. Either I am or I ain't.

Okay, my mind's made up. You ain't.

And where are your posts defending me as you claimed in Oct?

Hopefully they've been burned, and purged from memory.

If not for your flame loving "friends", the Grempire would still be such a happy place.

If not for you, the Grempire would be such a . . . smarter place, per capita.

. . .they love to rant and rave. . .

By 'they', of course, you mean yourself, right?


. . . and have thus turned this once wonderful and fun board into Rantapalooza. . .

That goes up there with 'Moronakateers.'

. . .thanks to their successful take over of your very will and thoughts.

What is this, 1984?

Much like Julius Ceaser.

Hey, if you're going to refer to a great Roman dictator, at least spell his name right, mmmkay?

But don't worry, I'll help get you unjerked (though you don't seem to notice you are), and then everything will be fine.

Gremlin, I believe you are being stalked. Lock your doors tonight.

Intelligence can't be rated by anything standardize. . .

No, it must be successfully displayed. Which leads me to two conclusions:

1) Gremlin is smart.

2) You are not.

Yet yours is so surprisingly low.

Can you say 'baseless assertion?'

And monotamously redudant.

Whosamawhatsit?


How do you know how much eladership I exert?

Again, I speak only for myself, but: I have no idea how much eladership you exert.

And thta's because so many people are too stupid to know being wrong if even that), doesn't make them stupid.

This is another one I want to frame.


Course, most places don't have idjits following suit and trying to impress the lamewads by emelating them, like Swyndle and Mac do here.

I swear, I have seen no emelation take place at this site. Nope, no emelation at all.

BTW How does it feel to have ruined 2.5 boards?

I dunno, you tell me.

First you really blow it at Universal's Net Forum with Alan1, creating a major unstoppable monster.

I was there. Alan1 was nothing at that place. He existed for a couple weeks, flooded the boards with messages, people started flaming him, Gremlin tried to moderate, and then the kid disappeared. Later someone tried to imitate him, but, for the most part, Alan1 never showed his face around the place. That board was never 'ruined' -- it just stopped working.

Then you nealry ruin Dan's when Alan1 shows up.

That wasn't Gremlin, that was me, dumbass. Gremlin had very little to do with that. I, on the other hand, was almost banned early on, but later vindicated when the little twerp was purged from the place.

And now, here at your own board, by letting your "friends" run rampant and out of control. . .

You mean he allowed an open-topic forum, allowed his friedns to visit it, and didn't restrain them from debating with each other? Oh, the horror, the horror!

. . .while everyone else here begs and pleads for the insanity to stop.

'Everyone else' -- is that akin to the royal 'we?'

And I'm a Net Wide problem (Which nobody can undersatnd.)

Again with this royal 'we' bit.

We'll add this description to the list of words you haven't mastered the meaning of yet.

Now his list triples yours.

Since you like me so mcuh, and can't ever bear to see me go.

Awww, we just like to beat up on you every so often. Like an intellectual punching bag.

I couldn't show up everyday, and things fell apart.

Speak for yourself.

I left form boredom. . .

Bandom. I believe the word you're looking for is 'bandom.'

People post less and less. . .

If, by 'people', you again mean 'yourself', then, yes, you're right.

And the world is going to eat me alive? You've been eaten and spit out.

You, my friend, have been fully digested.

All you do is hide in restraurants in the wee hours of the mourn, creating a smokescreen to hide from the stupids [Ed. note: Like Utahraptor] who only come out at that time, and rant about your miserable day. Well, at least I can be abrely qualified to do simple tasks.

Like type? And reason? I think not.

At least Gremlin's allowed out in public. . .

It actualyl too you thta ong. . .

That makes three things going on my wall.

Science can't be used to explain everyhting, because science is human understanding of thing based mostly on natural observation. This alone proves God's existance.

I don't follw your logic. . .

Oh, wait, there is none.

[Hey, don't I remember really long, boring, pointless posts you wrote in the past about the ridiculousness of belief in god? Have you changed beliefs so dramatically, or were those written just to garner admiration from Gremlin? No, you don't have to answer that.]

Yet too much happens to be coincidence. In fact, it's too much of a coincidence to be coincidence.

Ever hear the explaination that 'the universe exists because it does?' This supposes that there could be a near-infinite number of--

Ah, never mind. I'll save the explanation for somebody who can actually understand.

. . .and we're supposed to believe your the smartest one ever.

Who here ever laid claim to that? Other than yourself, I mean.

Oh, wait, maybe you're talking about yourself in second-person again.

Poeple don't like to post in places where they'll get flamed for holding a different opinion.

Not true. People still posted here after you flamed them.

You claim to like different views, yet hate mine.

Your view, apparently, is that you are a superior being, that anybody who ever disagrees with you is a 'troz,' which I think is some kind of insult, and all people -- especially Gremlin -- must serve and please you all the time, or you will accuse them of having wooden heads.

I'd say the guy has some justification for hating your view. . .

You claim to hate yes men, but hate me. . .

I see no contradiction here. You have always been a yes-man, worshipful of Gremlin -- and when your god rejected you, you've lashed out at him.

Who's the psychotic one here?

Heck, yuo say nobody ever takes me seriously, yet you and the Moronakateers do.

As seriously as we take a punching bag.

Some super genius you turned out to be. Can't even buy that animals can eat soup.

Man, is there going to be any space left on my wall? Oh, I don't care, this one's going up there.

And you wonder why the world is so stupid.

I take one look at any of your posts and cease to wonder.

Because if being smart means being likw you, doing what you do, thinking (and I use that term as losely and ficticously as possible) like you, then of course no one wants to be smart. It's better for eveyrbody that way.

You just keep telling yourself that.

Nobody but you wnats to go someplace where an insane idiot will vehemently insist that they're stupid.

I like to go to a place like with an insane idiot, simply because it's fun to insult you.

And one possible conspieracy theory does not make em oen to post them here.

And they all let out a collective, 'Huh?'

Believeing in purposely misusing words . . . is a conspiracy post.

You're right. Thee's no conspiracy. You really are an idiot. (My, how existentialist of me.)

Quit trying to make us all suffer for it.

Another royal 'we.'

Why don't you just solve all your problems once and for all by putting on your precious black trenchcoat, driving with your Colorado plated car to the nearest police station, and run isnide brandishing your gun, screaming, die idiots die.

Because, chances are, you wouldn't be there.

All you do is take other's ideas (Grempire from Star Wars: Shadows Of The Empire. . .

For the record: this place was called 'Grempire' from the beginning, before 'Shadows of the Empire' was ever released.

And the word 'Empire' was not first used in that game.

You have to make me look like an idiot. . .

Nope. You make it pretty clear yourself.

All the while endleslsy calling me names to show how smart you think I am, and how much you admire me.

Again, keep telling yourself that.

Go ahead, call me idiot, dummy, dork, geek.

Okay. You're an:

1) idiot

2) dork

3) geek

I'm an idiot.

Smartest thing you've ever said.

You wnat sex?

No, thank you. I haven't got gfive dollars with me right now.

You're completely and utterly useless. You don't even exist.

Upon reading the post, I think this is the point where I realized that Utahraptor had taken a few too many of the pink pills and a few too few of the white ones.

You're nothing more than a bunch of text and incomplete CGI pics.

No, I don't think this is philosophy. . . It must be the drugs.

Your inevitable reply of nothing more than You're an idiot does not exist? You're questioning of why I reply with trogolodite responses to thsoe I get does not exist, your NOTS where you claim to post my final thought of the board which naturally is no longer being applied to reality is gone, and most importnatly, you do not exist, because I no longer chose to acknowledge your existance.

You are, as they say in academic circles, 'seriously fucked.'

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that about wraps it up. This proves that even when his posts are cooherent (by the narrowest definition of the word), they're still really, really, really stupid.

'Full of sound and fury. . . Signifying nothing.'

-The Host

Follow Ups:



142.177.83.2 - hlfx33-2.ns.sympatico.ca}